Lack of Focus

Today, I find myself in an interesting position. Not bad necessarily, just...interesting.

Over the last few days I've been battling lack of sleep, poor diet and rather rapid mood swings. But in general, I seem to be moving towards "normal" again. Last night, well, this morning around 5, I took 50mg of Seroquel in an attempt to sleep and fortunately, I did. 11 hours in fact. But with all the renewed energy, I find myself unfocused.

I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say, but here's an example:

I was listening to music on my computer and decided to Youtube some Michael Buble. Immediately after the video started I found myself reminiscing of the days back in high school when I did live sound reproduction for musicals, concerts and the like. And immediately I start thinking about the massive sound system that was installed at the Lionel Hampton Jazz Festival in Idaho. I remember all the fun I had setting the systems up, testing and implementing them to good effect. But at the same time, I think about the music that's actually playing on this video, and remember all the amazing fun I had playing lead and solo trumpet in jazz band and think about how a career in music would be a lot of fun. But as soon as that starts, I think about my career so far as a paramedic and how I can't possibly leave all that behind. Is that just me? Am I too stuck on my current career and not focusing enough on what I am capable of?

Unfocused seems to be the right word. I need a change of careers, I'm burnt out beyond belief. I don't like my job anymore. But with all my interests, choices and desires for my life, I don't know how to even start.